I wish they sold this in Pittsburgh

I've been a fan of EpicMealTime for about a month now.  The food they make would make a 50lb balimic girl want to go on a diet of....puking more?  Ya, they make you not want to eat anything remotely unhealthy and shock my brain to a point where I immediately want to go to the gym. 

The latest creation: A Superbowl 45 tribute sandwich to Ben Roethlisberger.

PS-Enjoy the Superbowl

Forget Ramen Noodles and Buy a BOAT!

College students eating Ramen Noodles is nothing new, but there's a cheaper and healthier alternative that I bet most of you just laugh at.  The alternative? Why it's the Pasta Boat, of course!

 

 

The Pasta Boat looks like another POS you see on late night infomercials that prey of the fat and the restless.  If you don't live in the Academic Villages or the University Courts then a stove top is not available and cooking your own pasta is out of the question, or at least it was. I saw ads for this thing and it had my interest, but I was skepticall.  I finally decided to buy one when I saw it at Walmart for $10 and I was really surprised by it. IT WORKS!!!

The P.B. allows you to make up to five pounds of pasta at one time and that's crazy considering one pound can feed a family of four!  It takes under 20 minutes to make any amount of pasta and it takes a little while to learn how long it takes to make some pastas cook thoroughly.  Pasta sells for about $1 a pound and jars of sauces can cost you up to $6 at the most, which will last a while.  Pretty cheap, eh?

Personally, I fucking HATE Ramen Noodles.  Please don't tape me to a flag pole until I can explain.  Ramen Noodles have over 860mg of sodium which is terrible considering that's all from just one little cup or packet.  Nutritionally, these noodles are terrible for your health and the servings are pretty small.  Sure, they cost about $1 a piece but so what?  That doesn't make something "good."  Plus, I hate seeing those faded green pees hat are all weird and wrinkled in addition to the other odd colored vegetables. You can make your own pasta without all of the preservatives and it can actually be cheaper.  So the next time you want Ramen Noodles, remember that there is an alternative to our noodle needs that is just as cheap, and it's better for you.

Screw you, Freshmen Fifteen!

Here are Ramen Nutritional Facts

Old Skool Dodgeball Awesomenessessesssss

A lot of people came out.  Surprising for a Tuesday night

 In elementary school the only thing you could play when the weather was bad was dodge-ball.  I have a lot of good memories of playing with old friends and taking out my pre-teen aggression on everyone that stood against me.  Ahhhh, memories.

Steve explains the rules.  Break then, HE EATS YOU!!

The event was run very well thanks to Steve Satterlee and the guys and gals of SAB.  Everything went well and there were no crybaby or bullshit moments which almost never happens when playing dodge-ball.  Approximately 60 people played five games and there were about 20 spectators scattered throughout the bleachers, including the super-awesome night RA Brice Kertoy as well as the mega-fly Suggie B. Check out fellow UPG blogger Suggie B. HERE.

Dodge-ball will never change. SAB refs kept games fair

Players decide who to target next

 There are two types of people that play dodge-ball: the strong and the weak.  As sick as that might sound, it's true.  Players with strong arms, good hands and a desire to win always tend to be more aggressive and play the best.  Other players try to stand as far away from the action as possible and never even touch a ball with usually doesn't help a team towards winning.  Not being aggressive in dodge-ball is like playing a game of pool and just holding a cue stick and occasionally moving some balls around...it just doesn't make any damn sense.  Of course, this is what I thought of dodge-ball before today and I was surprised to see that the same rules that applied to 10-year-old kids applied to college students as well.

The team I was on, the odd numbers, consisted of many student-athletes including many members of the baseball team.  I would've been pissed if I were on the receiving end of a ball thrown by a pitcher that throws a fastball at 90 mph, but since they played on my side I couldn't have cared less.  The baseball guys were pretty responsible and didn't throw their arms out but they still managed to kick ass.  We had a bunch of hard throwing and aggressive players in addition to the baseball players and that probably explains why our team won four of the five game.  Even though there were many mud holes being stomped, everyone seemed to have a good time.

Girl In Blue Shirt, or GIBS, was a MVP

The only real negative thing to say about the event was the availability of t-shirts.  SAB had shirts made up for those who participated but they ran out of the shirts almost immediately.  People that didn't play grabbed shirts and the sizes available were kind of a letdown. With a game where a lot of guys were probably going to show up to it doesn't make sense to only have only 10 or 15 larges and only a handful of shirts bigger than larges.  Luckily, Steve is the awesome guy that he is and he gave me his 2X that he stashed away in his office, but other people weren't.  Still, it isn't like not getting a shirt kept anyone from having a good time, but some students did leave a little disappointed.

A champion celebrates his dodge-ball dominance

Superbowl Bound

Tonight I had the privileged to watch the Steelers make it to their eighth Superbowl in franchise history with about 15 random people in my dorm room.  Fans in my room ranged anywhere between die hard fans and casual Pittsburgh sports supporters that were all friends with my other roommates, Jessie and Miles.  I'm not 21 yet so I can't go out to bars for games and it's hard to find a similar setting at Pitt-Greensburg on a Saturday or Sunday evening but I think I've found one.  TV lounges usually draw decent crowds but I've never watched a Steelers game on campus with so many people before. I honestly think that watching the last two games with a big group of random fans and roommates were the best Steelers experiences I've had all year. 

I can't wait for Feb. 6!!

Anyone have a good story  about watching the Steelers at UPG?  Leave a comment.

PS-Mendenhall is awesome as well as Antonio Brown, Heath Miller, Big Ben, Adrian Redman and the entire Defense.

Getting Your Money's Worth

Typical distractions that make all book titles look like this. Photo by: C.J. Simpson

I remember how much I used to love snow days in grade school.  I usually spent my time playing sports, playing video games with friends or snorting pixxie stixx (only did that once and I leaned my lesson) and not doing homework or studying for the next big test.  So, if I told you I spent many nights praying for a snow day six hours before a paper was due I bet no one would doubt me.

To my surprise I was finally beat with a maturity stick early on in high school and I started doing my work and all that good scholarly stuff.  Now that I'm in college, I wonder how students feel about snow days. There have already been three delays this semester out of 13 total days of classes held so it's possible for many students to be behind already.  Sure, only classes before 10 a.m are canceled for delays but that can still affect students with early class schedules (I'm talking about all the science nerds out there) but the winter is young and so is this semester.

So what do you think about canceled classes? How many canceled classes does it take for it to go from  being awesome to annoying? Do you feel like your money is being wasted?  Should you get a cash refund for lost time? (Like that would happen)  Are there any Professors out there that cancel class or show up late too much?

Sorry, but I'm all Palined Out

I'm sick of hearing about Sarah Palin every day for one stupid reason after another.  I knew I felt some way about all of her nonsense but last night Steven Colbert summarized every thought I've ever had of the woman in this video.  Enjoy.

Thoughts? Comments?

Forever Getting Fatter?

I saw an infomercial the other night that I completely forgot about until now.  It was for a product called Forever Lazy and yes, I'm pretty sure it was concieved by the devil.

Essentially this thing is a $20 lightly insulated unitard that comes with "free footies" (pretty sure they're just socks).  Hmmm, sweats or this ridiculous thing?  Decisions.

Really America?  Apparently wearing sweatpants AND a sweatshirt is too damn complicated for some lazy asshole out there so they(He, She, I?) decided to make things "easier" with a one-piece fleece.  How are clothes difficult?  God,  I thought I hated Snuggie commercials but at least those people were by themselves. In this commercial they act like hanging out with friends dressed up like a baked potato wrapped in tin foil is kool. If I ever walked into my friend's house and found him or her wearing one of these I'd probably tar and feather their ass.  For Christ's sake, you don't have to take it off to take a shit! WTF!! 

My biggest fear with these things is that parents will see them on TV, the internet, Wal-Mart, K-Mart, etc. and think, "Hey! This would be great for little Billie!  He goes to college so he must love looking like a sloppy bastard who can't manage to put on actual clothing to stay warm.  I better get two in case his sister wants one too."  Please parents, don't buy these for your children, especially if they're in college.  Traditional clothes are a lot cheaper and far less embarassing...or at least I think so. 

Sorry Forever Lazy, encouraging Americans to be even more lazy than they already are is just throwing more gasoline on the fire that is the obesity problem in America.  Thanks for that.

Steven Colbert also mentioned the Forever Lazy on his show last night.  Here's the Link